Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Hitting the year mark and then some....

Hello there... I know it has been a while since I have written on here.  We hit the 1 year anniversary of having Toby with us on December 17, 2014.  With the rush of Christmas and the grey skies of winter, I have not been too motivated to write.  I did post this on Facebook when we hit the year mark...
"Today is our 1 year anniversary for our GOTCHA day. We are so blessed to have this precious boy in our family! We love you Toby!"

I also posted several videos so friends and family could see us getting Toby in those first unforgettable moments.  We really had a great time reflecting on those moments.  In the middle of celebrating our son's 1 year anniversary of being ours,chaos hit our home.  Cassidy had her tonsils removed and had a horrible recovery, the flu bug hit 3 members of our family, 1 sinus infection hit me,  plus we had a faulty toilet and van.  PLUS CHRISTMAS!   Do you know now why I did not write my blog in December and in January?  Yep, you guessed it... LIFE!

So today is February 24, 2015... the holidays are in the past, we are all feeling better (with the exception of my knotted up digestive system) the van is still trudging along, our toilet is repaired....things are a little less stressful in some ways and VERY stressful in other ways that I can't go into now.  I know that we all have stress in our lives...life is not easy for the majority of us, but I still desire to reflect on the blessings of life.  I am so blessed to have my family!  I love my husband dearly and always wonder why in the world  he choose me.  My kids are growing up so fast and my emotions are all over the place as I think about their futures.  Bethany is a Junior in college, 20 years old and trying to make decisions about her future.  Luke is going to be graduating from high school in 3 months and just turned 18.  He is trying to make decisions about his future.  Cassidy is right in the middle of being a kid and a teen and it kills me to see her start to grow out of the kid phase. Meanwhile, our Toby runs non stop all day long.  He has such a joy and energy about him that I can't comprehend.  I mean, he had such a hard life before we got him, but yet he still has joy.. That amazes me and teaches me in so many ways.

I don't really have a theme or topic for this blog post.  I am just sharing my thoughts and updates.  So if there are a lot of rabbit trails... forgive me.  I am just talking from my heart.  

Life has been chaotic in the past few months for me.  If you know me, I don't enjoy chaos.  I love organization and planning, but stress and chaos have overtaken my peace.  I am trying to do some changes in my own heart by the way I act in certain situations.  My responses and attitudes have not been acceptable.  I am trying to be a more positive person.  I am trying to let the little things slide, but it is SO hard for me to not get worked up over the smallest things. Have you been there?   If you have been in this situation, then you understand.  Please pray for me to get my act together so that I can be the best wife and mom that I can be.  Thank you!

As far as Toby,  he gives us so much joy and laughter, but he still struggles with his behavior.  He is so difficult at times.  It seems that when we hit the year mark, he took many steps backward.  It was almost as if he thought in his mind, that the year was over, now I am going to move on to another place.  At that point, he acted out just like he did the first month we had him.   It has been hard.  I love him from the bottom of my heart, but the past couple months, I have been so disappointed that the progress he made the first year kind of went down the tubes.    I thought we were on target for things to be "normal" around my house, but we had a setback.  It seems to be a bit better lately, but it is still challenging at times.    Please continue to pray for Toby as he learns the meaning of authority in his life, the meaning of unconditional love and the meaning of family.  I see glimpses of his understanding, but he still struggles.   I am so blessed to be his Mommy.  I am so grateful that God gave him to us.  Would life be easier if we didn't adopt?  Maybe....  but the joy that he gives us far exceeds any stressful moment.    Adoption is so hard, but yet so wonderful!!!   I can't describe to you how blessed I am to have had this wonderful opportunity to gain another son!  He is an answer to my prayers and has brought healing to some emotional scars.   And just to let you know, we are open to whatever God has for us.  He may want us to adopt again.  As hard as it is at times, I am willing to do whatever He calls us to do.  

Maybe my next blog post will be more thematic  and more structured, but for now, this is me... transparent, reflective, and honest.  

Happy Chinese New Year 2015!  As you can see, our boy is growing in all areas...physically, socially, mentally and emotionally.  Please keep praying for him.  He is going to do great things one day.  I just know it! (:
Chinese New Year 2014

Chinese New Year 2015

1 comment:

  1. Glad to read an update. I always look forward to them!