Friday, July 10, 2015

That first little tooth....

So today was a bittersweet moment when my sweet Toby lost his first baby tooth.    Here are some of my thoughts about it...

When we first got Toby, I noticed that his two bottom middle teeth were different than the rest of his teeth.  They were discolored and unhealthy.  Who knows if he was in a poor environment as a baby... or maybe he was sick?    Since I don't have ANY history of Toby's past, I always scramble to find some little piece of history so I can try and guess what his life was like.  I know that I will never probably ever know, but I just have to try. We even went to the place in China where Toby was left.  It is called his "Finding Spot".  We kept asking all of the nurses that we saw if they had any information on him.  We asked the orphanage workers if they remembered him when the police officers brought him there.  No one could give us any information because there were so many children that came through their doors.  But when I think about those precious teeth, I think about when he was a little baby in China oblivious to what his future would hold.   These two little teeth were his very first teeth to break through the skin.  His biological mother probably witnessed this moment.  She probably smiled when her baby finally passed this first of many milestones.

Today, that first little tooth that popped through his gums in China, came out in his new home in America.  If only that little tooth could talk and tell me the story of my baby boy's life.  The 5 years that little tooth stayed in our boy's mouth were the most traumatic but yet the most glorious years of his life.  I am just grateful that our little boy did not have to lose his first tooth all alone in an orphanage bed.  He had a family to cheer for him and celebrate this accomplishment.  He got his picture taken and was told about the big surprises that awaited him after he put his tooth under his pillow. ( And yes, I am one of those Mom's that does the whole tooth fairy thing...)  I am just thankful that while his biological Mom probably witnessed the eruption of his first tooth, his forever Mommy got to witness him losing his first tooth.  A little piece of his history was taken out of his life.  Will I keep that sweet little tooth?  You bet I will.. How can we ever forget where he came from?  But with the loss of this history, comes the growth of a new developing healthy, permanent reality.  

 In many ways, I feel slighted that I missed seeing him grow up.  I never got to see him as a newborn baby or toddler.  I don't have any pictures of him from 0-2.   After a child loses their first tooth their face starts to change into an older child.  I want time to slow down so I can enjoy this little guy a little longer, but I know that I can't.  So I will cherish every day that I have and thank  the Lord for allowing me to be his Mom now and forever.
I am so blessed to be his Mommy!