Three months later.......

Yes, we have survived another month of transition.  I can say that things are getting a bit better, but still not where we would like them to be.   But we are going to focus on the positive!   Here are some highlights from the past month:

• Toby has shown a lot of signs of transition in that he feels comfortable with our life.  He gets around the house with ease knowing his boundaries and knowing what is expected of him.   We still need to bring things down to his level in regards to organization (step stools, lower hooks, etc..)  but overall he is adjusting to the way we do things here at the Faile home.  Last month was a month of breaking things, but he has improved in that area... thank goodness!
•  He is also showing a lot of progress with church.   We have an awesome team of volunteers who assist with Toby so I can still interpret the Sunday morning services and work with David at the Meet and Greet.   On Sunday morning, Toby goes to "Kids Worship" and Sunday School where friends give him one on one attention interpreting and helping.  I am so thankful for everyone that is a part of "Team Toby."   On Sunday nights, I join Toby in Preschool Praise.  He really enjoys dancing and signing to the songs.  On Wednesdays, we do an adapted Awana with Toby.  He gets a 30 minute lesson with a special group of students and he really enjoys it!  I am so thankful for the progress being made at church.
• Toby started Preschool on March 10.  So far he is doing a great job.  It is a class designed to have Deaf children in it as well as other children that may or may not have special needs.  We were so impressed on the first day when many teachers/interpreters greeted Toby in ASL.  He really liked that too!  Today was his first day to ride the big yellow school bus and he LOVED it!  Buses are his favorite thing to play with at home and to look for when we are driving around town. Now he gets to actually ride one.  He doesn't quite love books yet, but loves the story that has to be expressively told to him.  He is still learning the letters of the alphabet, but it has been a slow process.  He would much rather learn the sign for something instead of a letter.  ...in time that will change!
• We are still continuing to go to various doctors and have testing done.  He had another hearing test and had his hearing aids repaired (although they broke again the next day).    He can pick up VERY loud noises when wearing the aids, but he cannot tell me what the sound is.  Toby will be having more tests done on the cause of his deafness, possible growth issues, lead in his bloodstream and digestive issues as well.  Please continue to pray that we get everything straightened out with our little guy.
• He is an absolute sponge and has such an intelligent mind.  This has really helped him adjust quickly to all the changes that have happened to him in the past 3 months.  It is so hard to believe that we have only had him for such a short time and he has come SO far.  We have taught him the gospel with a little object called the Evangicube...  He loves to see the gospel message shown with this cube and he can tell the story of the gospel so clearly with his signs.  This brings tears to my eyes...especially when he knows who Jesus is. It all started when he saw a cross and wondered what it was.  He was so fascinated as we vividly explained the Easter story to him.  I can't wait for Easter this year so he can celebrate what he has learned.
• Thanks for your continued prayers this month.  I had to take a break with my "Signing with Toby" videos because my time is so limited to get things done around my house.   They will continue when I can finish up our taxes and paperwork to re-adopt Toby here in the US.    That means a name change for birth certificate, social security cards, etc...  Please keep on praying that Toby's obedience improves.. We are seeing glimmers of hope in this area.  (:
• Here are some pictures that we took from the last month.   Enjoy!

Taken in 2013 while we were early into the adoption process....

 In 2014,We finally got our boy home!

Toby LOVES to help out in the kitchen!

Lookout girls... this boy LOVES to do chores.. He is so helpful!

Even vacuuming..

So sweet!

and mopping too!

Toby's first day of  Preschool here in America!  He did a great job!

Horace Mann Preschool

His first American teacher (besides his Mommy (: )

Toby could not wait to ride a bus.  His dream came true today!

 The bus driver and assistant said that he did a great job on the bus today!  Yeah Toby!

David and I were able to get away for two nights in Cincinnati.  We went to the Weekend to Remember Conference.. It is marriage conference.  Since we will be celebrating 25 years together in July, we thought this would be a great refresher for us.  Little did we know that it would be life changing and get us back on track.  Adoption as wonderful  as it is, brings a lot of stress in the home.  It also was putting a wedge in our relationship.  We really needed this time alone to talk and get back to the basics. (BTW, Toby did great staying with some precious friends while we were away.  We are blessed that there are no attachment issues with Toby and that he quickly adapts to new situations.   He knows we love him and that we will ALWAYS be there for him even if we have to go away for a few days.)    While we were in Cincinnati, we stopped at the grilled cheese restaurant featured on Shark Tank, Tom and Chee's . It really was delish, but the company was even better!   

My 17 minutes are gone......but one day, I will get them back.

Recently I heard a statistic on the KLove radio program.  It said that an average mom only gets about 17 minutes a day to do things for herself after she has taken care of the family.  I can certainly believe that stat especially for moms with a lot of little children.  Before we got Toby, I can honestly say that my "17 minutes" actually grew to hours and it was still not enough at times.   Today marks our two month anniversary of becoming parents to the cutest boy in the world.  Guess what?  My 17 minutes are gone..... and as hard as it is , I know that I am making an investment into a precious child and its going to be ok.  One day, I will have that time back.  I will admit..I do get frustrated and this stage in our lives is SO challenging.  It is hard... harder than I could have ever imagined, but is is worth it?  Yes... after I get frustrated, I can't help but stare into the eyes of my boy and thank God for blessing me with this incredible opportunity to love this boy for the rest of his life.  I can honestly say that I love him as my own, and for me to say that is a big deal.

I am a very transparent person that shares the good and bad, and I will tell you that the past 2 months have been a challenge for my family.  However, let me focus on the good.  Toby is the most adorable child.  His  personality and charm bring me smiles everyday.  His facial expressions are so unique and hilarious.  He absolutely has shocked me by his ability to learn/memorize SO many ASL signs.  From knowing nothing to knowing more than someone who has been in ASL classes for a year  is truly a miracle...!  ASL is now his first language and it has come SO natural to him.  I absolutely understand everything he is trying to tell me and there has been no frustration because of a lack of communication.  Praise the Lord!  He is a sponge that remembers things that I have only shown him one time.  I am so proud of his accomplishments in this.

 He also has a compassionate heart and a helpful spirit.  When I am doing chores, he wants to help me.  He loves to do laundry, mop the floors, dishes, cooking, dusting, sweeping, shopping and the list goes on... I love this about him.   He is so caring for others.  One time, I was doing a work out video and I was showing a painful look on my face because it really did hurt.  (:  He came up to me and asked if I was sick.. told me to stop the video and gave me a big hug.  He just has such a heart for those that are not doing well.  What a wonderful quality to have.  

His favorite Bible stories so far are Daniel and the lions den and Noah's Ark.  It is precious to see him act out the stories with signs and expressions.  He loves seeing stories. (:

Our family thinks the world of him and we love him more and more everyday.  We are so blessed to be able to bring him into our home and give him the gift of FAMILY.  When I am teaching at Wright State and have to be away from him for a few hours, I can't wait to get home and be with him.  When I look at his face, I just want to kiss it all day long.  When I look into his eyes, it brings me such joy and satisfaction.  He is my little boy that was a gift straight from God himself.  I am SO blessed!

Toby is having some behavior issues that are common  for a boy his age, but I think it is accentuated  because of the factors that are in his background... He is a preschooler...He has lived half of his life in orphanages/foster care and he is deaf.  I take all of that into consideration as I am running after him in a public setting.  He has such a hard time staying with us as we are walking, but he is better than he was..(PTL).  He has a hard time obeying first time..second time..third time..etc..  Some days he just doesn't want to obey and he doesn't.  That is when it gets hard!  Please pray for us as we consistently show him discipline with love.  Yes, it hard on us mentally, but lately it has harder on me physically.  I guess my body is not used to moving so much.  My knee is swelled and hurting.  I have "Tennis Elbow" that kills my arm.  My neck and back are all achey.  It has just worn me out.    I have been picking him up because he wants hugs (I can't deny him of that) and because I don't want him to run away.  It is very taxing on me so please pray that we can nail down the "darting" thing ASAP!

Since last month we have had doctor appointments, blood tests, stool samples (that was a fun one), hearing tests, preschool evaluations and even a photo shoot at JCPenney.  We have been very busy getting everything done so we can have a complete picture of our Toby.  I am sure that our third month together will bring even more adventure to this transition process.   At the audiologist, we confirmed that he is profoundly Deaf and it is a sensorineural (either the auditory nerve or hearing organ is damaged)  hearing loss that is bilateral (both ears).  He will never be able to hear distinct sounds that he will recognize.  Now we are doing another hearing test with his hearing aids to see if the aids will give him assistance with hearing loud noises.  That is on March 6.

Overall, things are going as well as they could.  Our boy loves us and we love him.  He is attached to our entire family and wants to be with us.  He is very affectionate and caring.  He is loving American culture and interacts positively with others unless he is distracted.   He behaves ALOT better at home than in public.   He still has a hard time going to bed, but that is improving.  I also want to thank my family for hanging in there during this huge change.  All of us have had to pick up the pace in helping with Toby.  His favorite time of the day is saying  prayers and he only wants to do it when all of us are with him.  It is a special time for sure!

My main prayer requests:

*Decisions about preschool
*Behavior in public improves  (specifically him staying with me instead of darting)
*My physical issues mentioned above
*Continued patience and strength to show loving discipline
* Smooth bedtime transition


Thank you for your support and continued prayers...  Below are some pictures taken during this month.  Also, if you have not see the weekly signing videos, you can learn how to sign some basic ASL signs if you check out my facebook page.  Each week, Luke and I make a video to teach you signs that you can use if you want to talk to Toby.  Thanks!  God bless you all!

My teenagers are wonderful helpers!

Toby at his class at church.  Thank you Miss Janet for being such a great teacher!

Toby is waiting for Cassidy to come off of the bus.  He loves to see the big yellow bus come down the street.

A visit to Cleveland to see Namma and Poppy.   He  bonded quickly with them!

Toby got a surprise package from our friend Scott.  He was SO excited!

It was Chinese New Year on January 31st.  We had a good time celebrating.

Time out on Chinese New Year....Oh well!

Oh yes.... Toby's first time to have Dewey's Pizza.  One day he will love it like we do.

Celebrating Luke's 17th birthday with our special friends that are more like family!

Toby's "big brother", Yuyang, from China.

Toby's hearing test.

Valentines Date with my sweetheart!

One Month Later....

One month ago today, we became Jian Ke Zheng (Toby)'s parents.  It is hard to believe that it has only been 4 short weeks.  It feels as if we have had him his whole life because of the love we feel for him and the progress that he has made in this short time together.  Here are some highlights/updates of the past month:

• Toby is adjusting as well as to be expected, but it has surprised us on how well he has attached to us.  Kisses and hugs are a regular part of his day and he knows where each of us are at various times of the day.  
• He has learned around 120 American Sign Language signs and uses them as he is communicating his thoughts to us.  Communication is not an issue at all.  I know exactly what he wants and needs.  I can even read his little mind.  The look of delight on his face when we get what he is saying is priceless!
• He is gradually adapting to our life.  Food choices are improving everyday.  At first, he would not eat too much, but now he tries everything we eat.  His favorites so far are:  jelly sandwiches (no peanut butter), fruit snacks, Go-gurt, fruit, Rice a Roni, hot dogs, green beans, corn, raisins, and oatmeal. 
• Sleeping is improving, but he still has not slept a solid 8-10 hours straight.  Toby will go to the bathroom during the night and with his sweet spirit walk over to his sleeping Mama and have to say   "Hi" to her.  Of course, that wakes me up and I can't go back to bed for another hour or two.... So maybe one of these days I will get my beauty rest once again.. haha  Until then, excuse the very tired eyes that I have been displaying the past month.  Also getting him to go to sleep is a struggle.  He just does NOT like bedtime or naptime and it is a challenge to get him to pleasantly lay down.. (Prayer Request #1)
• We have set up doctor appointments as well as evaluation in regards to school.  Things always take longer than we want them to so patience is important.  We want to give him a complete evaluation physically so we can know what is going on inside his little body.  He has an audiology appointment in March.  We are also trying to confirm his age as well with various tests.  As far as school goes, we have to get him evaluated by our school system and then we can make decisions that will be best for him at that time.  (Prayer request #2)
• His energy level is high so he keeps us on our toes, but he is starting to calm down at home.  At first, he would not even sit still for 5 minutes, but now he is getting attached to watching the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Doc McStuffins.  He also loves playing with playdough, his cars and his Nabi. (a kids handheld Ipad).   
•  Sundays are tough because of going to church and finding a place for him, but with the help of many sweet friends at church, we are getting the assistance that we need.  We are so grateful for so many willing people to help.  Toby is enjoying Sunday school, Preschool praise and a shortened version of Awana.   

Thank you for your prayers and please continue.  We have already had one post adoption visit from our social worker, but we have 5 more in the next 5 years..(I know... it is a long process) .    Some people have asked us about our adoption fundraising website..( adopttogether.org/thefailes )   We were about $1825 short of our goal.  We were going to use that money for post adoption costs and evaluation costs.  Right now, Toby has US Citizenship, but he still has a Chinese birth Certificate and a  Chinese name.

 (Jian Ke Zheng, in case you were wondering what his real name is..) After we get some final paperwork sent to us, we need to RE-ADOPT him here in the US so that we can get his official English name and US birth certificate.  This will be a little bit of a process as well with costs.  I will be closing down the fundraising website by February 1 so if you would still like to contribute to it, it will be available until then.  We are SOOOOO overwhelmed by the amount of money that we DID raise and our hearts are so grateful to all who contributed.  Words could never be enough to express how grateful we are.. We could not have done this without your prayers and financial support... THANK YOU!

Enjoy some pictures that we took since we have been home.  Everyday is a blessing and a challenge.., but we know that God will give us the strength and  patience to get us through this transition time. Thank you for your patience and understanding with us if we can't stand in one spot for a long time.  We are off chasing our sweet boy and burning lots of calories. (:

Cassidy showing Toby her Bible.

Toby walking into church for the first time..

First Haircut.....Before...

After....(he did awesome)

We love our boy!

I think Toby loves his bed although he fights sleep.

He loved seeing his poster under the tree.

Some of the Welcome Home signs.  Toby LOVED them all and wanted to hang them up on the walls at home.

It's our Christmas morning...in January..

Our special gift under the tree.

My 4 gifts from God

Toby's stocking

What a special gift!

Merry Christmas from the Failes!

Christmas dinner..

Yes, he loves to help with chores.. I had him mopping.  He insisted on wearing the apron too.

Job complete!

A beautiful snowfall..

Catching snowflakes..

Loving my boy!

Family......Complete!