One Month Later....

One month ago today, we became Jian Ke Zheng (Toby)'s parents.  It is hard to believe that it has only been 4 short weeks.  It feels as if we have had him his whole life because of the love we feel for him and the progress that he has made in this short time together.  Here are some highlights/updates of the past month:

• Toby is adjusting as well as to be expected, but it has surprised us on how well he has attached to us.  Kisses and hugs are a regular part of his day and he knows where each of us are at various times of the day.  
• He has learned around 120 American Sign Language signs and uses them as he is communicating his thoughts to us.  Communication is not an issue at all.  I know exactly what he wants and needs.  I can even read his little mind.  The look of delight on his face when we get what he is saying is priceless!
• He is gradually adapting to our life.  Food choices are improving everyday.  At first, he would not eat too much, but now he tries everything we eat.  His favorites so far are:  jelly sandwiches (no peanut butter), fruit snacks, Go-gurt, fruit, Rice a Roni, hot dogs, green beans, corn, raisins, and oatmeal. 
• Sleeping is improving, but he still has not slept a solid 8-10 hours straight.  Toby will go to the bathroom during the night and with his sweet spirit walk over to his sleeping Mama and have to say   "Hi" to her.  Of course, that wakes me up and I can't go back to bed for another hour or two.... So maybe one of these days I will get my beauty rest once again.. haha  Until then, excuse the very tired eyes that I have been displaying the past month.  Also getting him to go to sleep is a struggle.  He just does NOT like bedtime or naptime and it is a challenge to get him to pleasantly lay down.. (Prayer Request #1)
• We have set up doctor appointments as well as evaluation in regards to school.  Things always take longer than we want them to so patience is important.  We want to give him a complete evaluation physically so we can know what is going on inside his little body.  He has an audiology appointment in March.  We are also trying to confirm his age as well with various tests.  As far as school goes, we have to get him evaluated by our school system and then we can make decisions that will be best for him at that time.  (Prayer request #2)
• His energy level is high so he keeps us on our toes, but he is starting to calm down at home.  At first, he would not even sit still for 5 minutes, but now he is getting attached to watching the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Doc McStuffins.  He also loves playing with playdough, his cars and his Nabi. (a kids handheld Ipad).   
•  Sundays are tough because of going to church and finding a place for him, but with the help of many sweet friends at church, we are getting the assistance that we need.  We are so grateful for so many willing people to help.  Toby is enjoying Sunday school, Preschool praise and a shortened version of Awana.   

Thank you for your prayers and please continue.  We have already had one post adoption visit from our social worker, but we have 5 more in the next 5 years..(I know... it is a long process) .    Some people have asked us about our adoption fundraising website..( adopttogether.org/thefailes )   We were about $1825 short of our goal.  We were going to use that money for post adoption costs and evaluation costs.  Right now, Toby has US Citizenship, but he still has a Chinese birth Certificate and a  Chinese name.

 (Jian Ke Zheng, in case you were wondering what his real name is..) After we get some final paperwork sent to us, we need to RE-ADOPT him here in the US so that we can get his official English name and US birth certificate.  This will be a little bit of a process as well with costs.  I will be closing down the fundraising website by February 1 so if you would still like to contribute to it, it will be available until then.  We are SOOOOO overwhelmed by the amount of money that we DID raise and our hearts are so grateful to all who contributed.  Words could never be enough to express how grateful we are.. We could not have done this without your prayers and financial support... THANK YOU!

Enjoy some pictures that we took since we have been home.  Everyday is a blessing and a challenge.., but we know that God will give us the strength and  patience to get us through this transition time. Thank you for your patience and understanding with us if we can't stand in one spot for a long time.  We are off chasing our sweet boy and burning lots of calories. (:

Cassidy showing Toby her Bible.

Toby walking into church for the first time..

First Haircut.....Before...

After....(he did awesome)

We love our boy!

I think Toby loves his bed although he fights sleep.

He loved seeing his poster under the tree.

Some of the Welcome Home signs.  Toby LOVED them all and wanted to hang them up on the walls at home.

It's our Christmas morning...in January..

Our special gift under the tree.

My 4 gifts from God

Toby's stocking

What a special gift!

Merry Christmas from the Failes!

Christmas dinner..

Yes, he loves to help with chores.. I had him mopping.  He insisted on wearing the apron too.

Job complete!

A beautiful snowfall..

Catching snowflakes..

Loving my boy!

Family......Complete!

Day 20- Captain America has arrived! Welcome Home to our Toby!

The day has finally arrived when we get to come HOME!  When you are so far away for such a long time and you are way out of your comfort zone, home is such an inviting place.  There are so many things that you miss so much more and are grateful for.  I am such a blessed girl!  The emotions that I feel today are more than I can fully comprehend or express. Here are just a few:   I am extremely homesick..... I feel bad that my new child is leaving his homeland permanently so I feel compassion on him for his feeling of loss.....  I am extremely tired and worn.....  I am elated that all the paperwork and fundraising is complete.......  I am overwhelmed at the thought that God gave me another chance to be a Mommy when I thought it was impossible after tragedy struck me years ago....  I am challenged and frustrated when Toby is testing me.......
I am so surprised that Toby fits perfectly into our family....I feel so thankful for so many people that have supported us this year.    Here are just a few of the feelings that I am experiencing.

We started out early to get to the airport, check in our 10 bags and head home.  We had an extra blessing at the start.  We got to the American Airlines check in area and the line was a mile long and moving VERY slowly.  Toby started getting fussy and loud so I wanted to use that to our advantage. wink   I tried to go to the self check station, but it was closed.  I asked an attendant if there was something we could do because our deaf baby was fussy and didn't understand why we were waiting for so long.  The lady quickly brought us to the first class lane that was empty and checked us in saving us about an hour long wait.  I winked at Toby and said "Thank you, Buddy for helping us out."  It was definitely a blessing to not have to wait with a screaming child for an hour!

We all were SO excited to get on the plane, but we all knew how long the ride would be... This time around it was a 12 hour flight because we were going another way (Russia, Alaska, Canada, Chicago)..  On the way there, we flew over the North Pole.  Yeah it was pretty cool to say that you had been to the REAL North  Pole a few days before Christmas.  That way was 13 hours.  Saving that one hour was a great thing!  Toby didn't know that it was that long and he said something funny to me halfway through the trip.  He said "airplane finish"  and he wanted it to land.  For 12 hours, he only slept less than a hour.  The other 11 1/2 hours were a challenge for all of us.. We tried our best to entertain him, but wow... it was hard.  I do not desire to do that ever again.  When we landed in Chicago, I can't express the sheer joy that we all had.  Phew!!!  What a trip!  A few minutes later, we had  to deliver "the package" to Homeland Security where Toby would become a US citizen.  Unfortunately, cameras were not allowed so I don't have one of those to share, but just know that I can't express to you the joy and satisfaction I felt when the officer said "You are done."    The family picture below was taken as soon as we left the Homeland Security office.  (:  Captain America has finally arrived in America. (I was saving those underwear just for today..haha)

We met a great Chicago friend, David, at the airport.  It was so nice of him to come to the airport. I felt bad that we were SO tired and we were not ourselves, but it was sure good to see him.  Toby was wide awake and really interacted with him.  That was special for all of us.

Our short 47 min flight to Dayton from Chicago was a time of reflection for me.  All the feelings that I had posted above were all hitting me at once.  I couldn't believe that we were almost home.  Toby finally fell asleep at this point and could not be woken up.  He was out cold.  We got off the plane exhausted but delighted to be in Dayton.  When we crossed the security section, we saw something so unexpected..... A HUGE crowd of family and friends with signs, balloons, flowers, gifts and smiles.   We were all so taken back by the love and support that we all "lost it".  The emotions were too much to hold in and when I hugged my brother and sister in law, I just couldn't let go.  I had missed my family and friends so much and I still tear up thinking about that moment that will be etched in my mind forever.  Unfortunately, Toby was out and I was so disappointed for him that he did see all that love pouring over us.    I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone that came to the airport.  That meant more to us than you will ever know.  It was so thoughtful and it was the best way to end our epic adventure.    I also want to say thank you for all of the little gifts for Toby (he can't stop playing with them), the roses (gorgeous), balloons (boy did he love those), signs,(Loved the kids holding them all)  a ride home (Thank you Rohrers) decorations at our house,(Good job Meslohs)  tears of joy, and hugs.  I also want to say a big thank you to my sister in law and brother, Rachel and Matt, who came from Columbus, made us dinner and dessert and gave us a few groceries to start out week.  That was SO thoughtful and touching to all of us.

So now the real adventure begins... on December 9, we were just a family of five and today on December 28, we are a family of six. We are the parents of 4 beautiful children.. gifts from God.  Three are biological children  and one adopted child, but all four are loved the same.  Words can't express how we truly feel on this day..  Thank you for being a spectator on our journey.    All I can say is we love you and as far as  the journey ...."To be Continued......"

Day 19--- The start of our journey home!

Today we began our first stage of our journey home.  We got up pretty early.  Cassidy  had an earache, but we gave her Tylenol and I had many people praying that she would have a pain free trip home.   Unexpectedly, David was very nauseous and I don't need to go into details about the end result.  I think he ate something that didn't quite agree with him the night before.  He was a pretty miserable guy pretty much the whole day.  Well... we went to the airport to take a domestic flight to Beijing.  It was about a 3 hour flight and trying to entertain a little boy who can't sit still was a huge challenge, but after giving him my hand sanitizer, my bath and body works lotion, several wipes, Chapstick, crayons, and snacks, we made it.  Believe it or not, Toby cleaned the tray in front of him for about half of the trip with my lotion and hand cleaner over and over and over again.  I sure hope he keeps up the "clean freak" side of him when he arrives home...maybe he can teach that to the others...(:  

We were picked up by a sweet man we had met with Todd a few weeks before and taken to hotel near the airport.  We got to spend some good time with our dear friends, Todd and Dawn and family.  What a HUGE blessing they have been to us on this trip.  It's so hard to explain the immense gratitude we feel for them...they did so much for us and we are so thankful for all they did for us.

Luke had a highlight of the week.  He got to play pool and ping pong with several pretty flight attendants from an Asian airline.  They were all giggling at him and he was eating up all the attention.  They asked him his age and he was wishing he was older than 16. haha

We were all anxious to go home so we headed to bed.  The funny thing about our sleeping arrangements was that we all had one room, 2 small double beds, and 6 people.   We started out with Bethany,Luke and Cassidy in one bed and David, Toby and me in the other, but it did not work. So we got really creative... Here is how we slept.  Nauseous David and wiggleworm Toby slept in one bed...sweet Cassidy slept on a sleeping bag on the floor, and the two teens and their Mom slept in the other bed.  Bethany and I had our heads at the top of the bed and Luke's head was on the end of the bed ..So basically I cuddled with his feet and legs at night to keep me warm because the blanket was way too small for a double bed. It was quite amusing as we laughed our heads off as we drifted asleep. We are so homesick!

 

Day 18-- This is it! The day of completion!

It is time to celebrate for today we were handed the last bit of paperwork that we need to complete the adoption and bring Toby home!  When I was handed the Adoption Certificate, I welled up with tears because all the stressful and tedious paperwork that had been done this year was ending today!  I have never had a more stressful year in my lifetime, but the end result for this voyage has been priceless.  We get to bring home the best Christmas present and the best Chinese souvenir that I can imagine.... our sweet little Toby.  It is hard to believe that he is ours to keep.  We can't wait for all of you to meet him.  He loves to try and talk to everyone he meets and give you his "two cents".  I can just imagine the conversations that he is having as he is "talking" to people he meets.  It is so funny.

Not only did we complete our adoption, we got to talk to our families/friends for the first time since we have been here.  We called our family in Georgia (They were having Christmas dinner) and had a great time talking to each one there.  We can't wait to introduce Toby to all of them!  We also got to Facetime with the Wojnarowski family.  They were all gathered at my parents' house for the Christmas night gathering. I am so grateful I had the chance to talk with and see our family.  It made my day complete.  It was also great seeing our great friends, the Bouchers too!  We are SO blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives who will always be there for us no matter what!

We spent the afternoon/evening walking through two beautiful parks in the city.  What a relaxing and peaceful way to end our adventure.  We cherished the time that we had together as a family.  I will never forget the bonding that all of us made together.  All of us grew closer to each other and to our Lord.  I am so proud of my kids for their wisdom and discernment during this time together.  I have such WONDERFUL children that God has blessed me with.  Thank you, Heavenly Father for the 4 precious gifts that You gave to me.  I am so honored to be the mother of Bethany September, Hunter Luke, Cassidy Hope, and Tobiah JianKe.

I do have a HUGE prayer request for the next two days.  My Cassidy was in some serious ear pain tonight (of course... the night before our trip..UGH)   I am just praying that it is not an ear infection.  We gave her tylenol and she is resting comfortably right now, but as you know, there is a lot of ear pressure when you get on a plane.  PLEASE pray for my baby girl to be ok.  We leave very early in the morning to fly to Beijing.  We will spend the night in Beijing and then fly out the next day with Chicago, Illinois USA as our first stop.  This will also be the place where Toby will become a US citizen.  I think I might cry then too!  Thank you for your prayers for both Cassidy and Toby as we fly back home.  If I can't get internet for tomorrow's update, I will update when I arrive at home.  This has been a priority for me everyday because I want to share this adventure with you, especially those of you  who have supported us both financially and in prayer.  The words THANK YOU will never be enough to express our gratitude.  Until tomorrow...(maybe)   God bless you and thanks for praying for our safe and pain free return.

Day 17- Merry Christmas!

It's December 25 today on the calendar, but we will be postponing our Christmas celebrations until after we get home.   Today was a very quiet day.  We all woke up and felt a bit homesick.   We ate breakfast, laid around in the room,  ate lunch at McDonalds, laid around some more... ( I know this is such an exciting post. haha)  But in the evening, we had the honor to be with some new friends that live here in China.  We have a wonderful friend in Beavercreek who is a foreign exchange student.  We met up with his parents here in Guangzhou.  We had the pleasure of eating dinner and seeing some beautiful parts of the city with them.   We actually went to a seafood market, picked out our dinner, and a nearby restaurant cooked it for us.  It is such a unique experience.   We were so grateful to have met them.  They gave us an authentic Chinese experience that we will never forget.  God bless them for their hospitality and friendliness to our family!  Our little Toby kept signing "beautiful girl" to their little girl.  He is already a little flirt. haha  Merry Christmas.

Day 16... Merry Christmas Eve

Hello there friends... Today is December 24th here in China.  I will admit it is the strangest Christmas Eve I have ever had.  Usually I am running around like a crazy person trying to get everything ready, but it feels quite different this year.  I have the majority of our Christmas traditions finished at home ready to do as a family when we return, but as far as feeling the "Spirit of Christmas", it is very different.  I am typing here in a quiet hotel room with no tree or music.. no hot tea (with Tang..of course) while watching It's A Wonderful Life.  Everyone is asleep... No one is putting up their stocking or putting out the traditional Santa cookies......Quite different indeed.... But as I look over into the Pack and Play bed and see a little black haired baby boy in his Christmas Pajamas sleeping soundly,  I feel a peace.  I guess I have a new perspective on things this year.  Adoption has been on the forefront of my brain this entire year and here on Christmas Eve , our family took an oath at the United States Consulate that everything that we have done up until this point has been true and that we promise to take care of this child that God has placed into our lives.   We swore that we would indeed do this on this day...  It was such a surreal moment to handover our papers to this officer and for her to say "Ok, you can pick up your child's visa on Thursday and then you are free to go home"  All that hard paperwork was over and now the real hard work begins....  molding a child into a happy, healthy, God fearing, law abiding citizen.   I guess the paperwork seems like a cinch after thinking about this challenge, but we know that God brought Toby into our lives.  He never promised it would be easy, but He did promise that He would always be with us through the process before the adoption and now after.  

What a night to reflect on how God himself sent His Son, Jesus, to this earth to be born so that He would grow up to die ...for us....and because of His death on the cross, he took the punishment for our sin that we so deserved.  We can freely accept Him into our lives and be ADOPTED by our Heavenly Father to belong to His family forever.  Such an awesome thought to think about THIS Christmas Eve.   I am in awe at this wonderful opportunity to love a child that did not come out of me and to train him and teach him what God says in His Holy Word.   I know he will be difficult to train at times, but thats ok.   God will be my role model in this process.  He adopted me into His family when I accepted Him as my Savior way back in 1980.  I have not always been easy to teach and train, but He has loved me unconditionally and had provided for my every need.  I will do the same for our sweet Toby with God's help.  Merry Christmas to all of you and may you also find the true meaning of this Christmas season.

Several families in our adoption group got together for a Christmas Eve gathering.  We sang songs together and heard a wonderful devotional from another Pastor that was in our group.  I attempted to sign for Toby, but he only lasted 5 minutes.   David has had a cold and he decided to keep Toby occupied in playland during our time.   It is going to take time to get Toby to understand what is going on but it will be ok!

Bethany, Luke and Cassidy and I went on a river cruise ride with several people from our group.  We ate Papa Johns pizza  (YUMMY)  while looking at the beautiful lights of Guangzhou... So beautiful and impressive.   David and Toby stayed at the hotel so their colds would not get worse.