Love Never Failes

Recently I heard a statistic on the KLove radio program. It said that an average mom only gets about 17 minutes a day to do things for herself after she has taken care of the family. I can certainly believe that stat especially for moms with a lot of little children. Before we got Toby, I can honestly say that my "17 minutes" actually grew to hours and it was still not enough at times. Today marks our two month anniversary of becoming parents to the cutest boy in the world. Guess what? My 17 minutes are gone..... and as hard as it is , I know that I am making an investment into a precious child and its going to be ok. One day, I will have that time back. I will admit..I do get frustrated and this stage in our lives is SO challenging. It is hard... harder than I could have ever imagined, but is is worth it? Yes... after I get frustrated, I can't help but stare into the eyes of my boy and thank God for blessing me with this incredible opportunity to love this boy for the rest of his life. I can honestly say that I love him as my own, and for me to say that is a big deal.

I am a very transparent person that shares the good and bad, and I will tell you that the past 2 months have been a challenge for my family. However, let me focus on the good. Toby is the most adorable child. His personality and charm bring me smiles everyday. His facial expressions are so unique and hilarious. He absolutely has shocked me by his ability to learn/memorize SO many ASL signs. From knowing nothing to knowing more than someone who has been in ASL classes for a year is truly a miracle...! ASL is now his first language and it has come SO natural to him. I absolutely understand everything he is trying to tell me and there has been no frustration because of a lack of communication. Praise the Lord! He is a sponge that remembers things that I have only shown him one time. I am so proud of his accomplishments in this.

He also has a compassionate heart and a helpful spirit. When I am doing chores, he wants to help me. He loves to do laundry, mop the floors, dishes, cooking, dusting, sweeping, shopping and the list goes on... I love this about him. He is so caring for others. One time, I was doing a work out video and I was showing a painful look on my face because it really did hurt. (: He came up to me and asked if I was sick.. told me to stop the video and gave me a big hug. He just has such a heart for those that are not doing well. What a wonderful quality to have.

His favorite Bible stories so far are Daniel and the lions den and Noah's Ark. It is precious to see him act out the stories with signs and expressions. He loves seeing stories. (:

Our family thinks the world of him and we love him more and more everyday. We are so blessed to be able to bring him into our home and give him the gift of FAMILY. When I am teaching at Wright State and have to be away from him for a few hours, I can't wait to get home and be with him. When I look at his face, I just want to kiss it all day long. When I look into his eyes, it brings me such joy and satisfaction. He is my little boy that was a gift straight from God himself. I am SO blessed!

Toby is having some behavior issues that are common for a boy his age, but I think it is accentuated because of the factors that are in his background... He is a preschooler...He has lived half of his life in orphanages/foster care and he is deaf. I take all of that into consideration as I am running after him in a public setting. He has such a hard time staying with us as we are walking, but he is better than he was..(PTL). He has a hard time obeying first time..second time..third time..etc.. Some days he just doesn't want to obey and he doesn't. That is when it gets hard! Please pray for us as we consistently show him discipline with love. Yes, it hard on us mentally, but lately it has harder on me physically. I guess my body is not used to moving so much. My knee is swelled and hurting. I have "Tennis Elbow" that kills my arm. My neck and back are all achey. It has just worn me out. I have been picking him up because he wants hugs (I can't deny him of that) and because I don't want him to run away. It is very taxing on me so please pray that we can nail down the "darting" thing ASAP!

Since last month we have had doctor appointments, blood tests, stool samples (that was a fun one), hearing tests, preschool evaluations and even a photo shoot at JCPenney. We have been very busy getting everything done so we can have a complete picture of our Toby. I am sure that our third month together will bring even more adventure to this transition process. At the audiologist, we confirmed that he is profoundly Deaf and it is a sensorineural (either the auditory nerve or hearing organ is damaged) hearing loss that is bilateral (both ears). He will never be able to hear distinct sounds that he will recognize. Now we are doing another hearing test with his hearing aids to see if the aids will give him assistance with hearing loud noises. That is on March 6.

Overall, things are going as well as they could. Our boy loves us and we love him. He is attached to our entire family and wants to be with us. He is very affectionate and caring. He is loving American culture and interacts positively with others unless he is distracted. He behaves ALOT better at home than in public. He still has a hard time going to bed, but that is improving. I also want to thank my family for hanging in there during this huge change. All of us have had to pick up the pace in helping with Toby. His favorite time of the day is saying prayers and he only wants to do it when all of us are with him. It is a special time for sure!

My main prayer requests:

*Decisions about preschool
*Behavior in public improves (specifically him staying with me instead of darting)
*My physical issues mentioned above
*Continued patience and strength to show loving discipline
* Smooth bedtime transition

Thank you for your support and continued prayers... Below are some pictures taken during this month. Also, if you have not see the weekly signing videos, you can learn how to sign some basic ASL signs if you check out my facebook page. Each week, Luke and I make a video to teach you signs that you can use if you want to talk to Toby. Thanks! God bless you all!

My teenagers are wonderful helpers!

Toby at his class at church. Thank you Miss Janet for being such a great teacher!

Toby is waiting for Cassidy to come off of the bus. He loves to see the big yellow bus come down the street.

A visit to Cleveland to see Namma and Poppy. He bonded quickly with them!

Toby got a surprise package from our friend Scott. He was SO excited!

It was Chinese New Year on January 31st. We had a good time celebrating.

Time out on Chinese New Year....Oh well!

Oh yes.... Toby's first time to have Dewey's Pizza. One day he will love it like we do.

Celebrating Luke's 17th birthday with our special friends that are more like family!

Toby's "big brother", Yuyang, from China.

Toby's hearing test.

Valentines Date with my sweetheart!

One month ago today, we became Jian Ke Zheng (Toby)'s parents. It is hard to believe that it has only been 4 short weeks. It feels as if we have had him his whole life because of the love we feel for him and the progress that he has made in this short time together. Here are some highlights/updates of the past month:

Toby is adjusting as well as to be expected, but it has surprised us on how well he has attached to us. Kisses and hugs are a regular part of his day and he knows where each of us are at various times of the day.
He has learned around 120 American Sign Language signs and uses them as he is communicating his thoughts to us. Communication is not an issue at all. I know exactly what he wants and needs. I can even read his little mind. The look of delight on his face when we get what he is saying is priceless!
He is gradually adapting to our life. Food choices are improving everyday. At first, he would not eat too much, but now he tries everything we eat. His favorites so far are: jelly sandwiches (no peanut butter), fruit snacks, Go-gurt, fruit, Rice a Roni, hot dogs, green beans, corn, raisins, and oatmeal.
Sleeping is improving, but he still has not slept a solid 8-10 hours straight. Toby will go to the bathroom during the night and with his sweet spirit walk over to his sleeping Mama and have to say "Hi" to her. Of course, that wakes me up and I can't go back to bed for another hour or two.... So maybe one of these days I will get my beauty rest once again.. haha Until then, excuse the very tired eyes that I have been displaying the past month. Also getting him to go to sleep is a struggle. He just does NOT like bedtime or naptime and it is a challenge to get him to pleasantly lay down.. (Prayer Request #1)
We have set up doctor appointments as well as evaluation in regards to school. Things always take longer than we want them to so patience is important. We want to give him a complete evaluation physically so we can know what is going on inside his little body. He has an audiology appointment in March. We are also trying to confirm his age as well with various tests. As far as school goes, we have to get him evaluated by our school system and then we can make decisions that will be best for him at that time. (Prayer request #2)
His energy level is high so he keeps us on our toes, but he is starting to calm down at home. At first, he would not even sit still for 5 minutes, but now he is getting attached to watching the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Doc McStuffins. He also loves playing with playdough, his cars and his Nabi. (a kids handheld Ipad).
Sundays are tough because of going to church and finding a place for him, but with the help of many sweet friends at church, we are getting the assistance that we need. We are so grateful for so many willing people to help. Toby is enjoying Sunday school, Preschool praise and a shortened version of Awana.

Thank you for your prayers and please continue. We have already had one post adoption visit from our social worker, but we have 5 more in the next 5 years..(I know... it is a long process) . Some people have asked us about our adoption fundraising website..( adopttogether.org/thefailes ) We were about $1825 short of our goal. We were going to use that money for post adoption costs and evaluation costs. Right now, Toby has US Citizenship, but he still has a Chinese birth Certificate and a Chinese name.

(Jian Ke Zheng, in case you were wondering what his real name is..) After we get some final paperwork sent to us, we need to RE-ADOPT him here in the US so that we can get his official English name and US birth certificate. This will be a little bit of a process as well with costs. I will be closing down the fundraising website by February 1 so if you would still like to contribute to it, it will be available until then. We are SOOOOO overwhelmed by the amount of money that we DID raise and our hearts are so grateful to all who contributed. Words could never be enough to express how grateful we are.. We could not have done this without your prayers and financial support... THANK YOU!

Enjoy some pictures that we took since we have been home. Everyday is a blessing and a challenge.., but we know that God will give us the strength and patience to get us through this transition time. Thank you for your patience and understanding with us if we can't stand in one spot for a long time. We are off chasing our sweet boy and burning lots of calories. (: